Friday, October 18, 2013

Old Age Home

The other day i was talking to my sister about growing old and she said we all had to learn lessons from our experiences for when our own turn comes.. and as we warmed up to the topic, i had this idea... its always a brain storming session, i find whether it is in the office or on the home front. nice ideas do come up...may not be workable, may not be inventions, only innovations....but still....

See, my mother has given the four of us, my three siblings and me, 4800 sq. ft of land each and all the four 'plots' adjoin each other.(now dont go correcting the grammar, thats indian-english, ok? i write as i speak ok? gosh, i have become more aware of my english and this is making me commit a lot of mistakes, both grammatical and spellings!!theek hai, kya karen?) as usual, i digress!hmm, to continue, where was i..? yeah, well, these plots being adjacent would make a nice big single plot, we could build a nice ashram like structure, plant trees (we have done that already i think, my mother has... mangoes, coconut, guavas, lemon....?). we could have a separate annexe like structure for our pooja-paath. all the siblings-cousins, and the elder generation, could stay under one roof. the children of these siblings/cousins could sponsor a couple of doctors, round the clock nursing care, a general handyman to take care of the garden and shopping, a cook, couple of housemaids and so forth. we would have our own home theatres, music systems, telephones, cell phones and what not. we would have our pension, we could grow our own fruits and vegetables. the grandchildren could come any time they wanted and spend their vacations with us. the children could visit anytime they wanted, or only call or do whatever they want to do-no hassles. no complaints.

All of us would have each other's company. we would all be in the same boat. our daughters would be at peace, our daugthers-in-law would be the happiest women on earth. i firmly believe that the biggest stake-holder in a guy is his wife. she would take care of her husband the best; and with no mother-in-law trouble the young wives can get on with their lives.... well, yes, when one has this much one will want some more, and when one has some more one will want a little more, its endless, really, but ....again kya karen?easy to say: like it or lump it, but it is better though not easier, to like it. more peaceful.

I expect there would be a lot of 'politics'..what indian household is free from household politics... we are, in the end, one big joint family and we feel it is our bounden duty to poke our noses in the affairs of our relatives, near and distant. given that, sure as anything there would be much discussions, divisions and so on every single day... but we would have our own rooms with attached bathrooms to retire to, if we want to stay away in a huff, right? its not such a bad idea, but whether it is workable, I dont know... why because (now that is a typical indian way of speaking, you ask the question 'why' and start answering it with a  'because', and it is a total translation of the vernacular 'yendukku?yendukanntey'(telugu) 'yen?yennanna"(tamil)), all of us will make an exception of ourselves...I dont have to stay in the ashramam, my son will take care of me, my daughter will take care of me, I have two sons, my sons-in-law are like sons to me and so on..... Oh I  understand...

Its not that our kids will discard us, wont take care of us or anything like that... its just that they may not be able to do what they want to do for us.... life is so different from what it was even 40 years ago.. its not going to be slowing down in the future..

This is just an idea, a thought.....right? lets see. time alone will tell.

Old age is not just creeping on us, it is racing, as my husband laughingly says. That means, we will know sooner than soon....

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